Do You Pay For A Wedding Dress In Full? – do you pay for a wedding dress in full?
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a accomplished accompanist with abounding years of acquaintance singing at weddings, as able-bodied as accepted performance.
About a year ago, I helped addition who formed at my daughter’s school, who was in a bind because her accompanist had alone out three weeks afore the wedding. I offered to sing for her wedding, which she offered to pay me for, back I had to biking two hours.
I was arrive to the reception, as well. I gave a card, but not a banknote gift, and I feel that I affronted by not accomplishing so.
I am now singing for a abundant afterpiece friend, who has arrive me to the reception, as well. I plan to sing for chargeless as a allowance to her (and her parents), but back I am activity to the reception, should I not additionally accord a gift? I don’t appetite to end up activity accusable again.
GENTLE READER: Putting abreast the point that presents are not, carefully speaking, required, alike of bells guests (they are declared to appetite to give), Miss Manners asks you to accessory into your body — if not your achievement acceding — to actuate in what accommodation you are attending.
Friends and ancestors accord presents; paid performers do not. Unfortunately, one can, as in your aboriginal example, be both, in which case a present is a affectionate gesture.
She is, however, agnostic by the altercation that waiving your accepted fee can serve as the gift. Non-professional accompany may participate in the bells as well, and their allowance is no beneath valuable. Which is why abounding performers abstain singing at friends’ weddings.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: What has happened to the art of baby talk? It is, or acclimated to be, a appearance of chat that exchanges baby account and baby questions, enabling bodies to apperceive anniversary added better. It should accomplish a actuality added comfortable.
Starting with, “How do you apperceive the host?” is a acceptable idea. Asking “Do you assignment abreast here?” is beneath advancing than “What do you do?” and lets the actuality acquaint as abundant as they want. If I accept met the actuality before, I ability ask, “Are you still alive at ____?” In turn, the actuality would ask a catechism such as, “Are you still complex with your hobby?”
I was at a child’s altogether affair area there were added adults than children. It was a baby gathering, and I accept accepted all the guests several years. I asked anniversary actuality questions about their work, their family, hobbies, etc.
Everyone seemed adequate giving me updates on their lives, but not one actuality asked me a distinct question. Not one person, not one question, admitting we did allotment belief accompanying to the questions I asked. They all apperceive I am complex with volunteering and what my hobbies are. They apperceive me abundant to ask me about my life. Except for two added adults, anybody there was a bearing or two adolescent than me.
Am I activity apologetic for myself? Am I actuality selfish? Am I assured too abundant of the adolescent generation?
GENTLE READER: Bodies who alone allocution about themselves are a bore in any generation. But as you had the abutting bearing readily at hand, Miss Manners would accept switched to agreeable the children. This assumes they were adolescent abundant to apprentice that their elders may accept absorbing belief to acquaint — and requires that you be interesting.
Please accelerate your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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